Tuesday, October 20, 2009
10-20-2009
OMG!!! I can not believe how long it has been since I posted on this site. I need to get better at updating things and unfortunately it is late, so I will not be adding to this tonight.
Monday, December 1, 2008
12-1-08
NaKya
Today is the last day that I get to spend with my dog. I have cried a lot and I know that it is selfish of me to want to keep her around longer. She is in pain and suffering. She is not eating or going to the bathroom. It is like her whole body has just shut down and all she can do is look at you with those sad brown eyes and all I can do at the moment is cry and pet her little head. I know that it will be better to put her down, but I really do not feel like I have had enough time with her. She is 8, going to be 9 (Feb 13th). My only true complaint with her is all the hair that she would shed, but that is not her fault other than that she has been a wonderful dog!!!
I can still remember the day that G and I went to pick her, he wanted her because she was the big puppy in the corner that no one wanted to play with and that was the same reason that I did not want her. I am really glad that G won that battle, because she is the best pet that I have ever owned. She knew when I was unhappy or when I needed a little nudge. She would come over and put her little head (OK it is huge) on my lap and look at me as if to say that everything is going to be OK.
Today is the last day that I get to spend with my dog. I have cried a lot and I know that it is selfish of me to want to keep her around longer. She is in pain and suffering. She is not eating or going to the bathroom. It is like her whole body has just shut down and all she can do is look at you with those sad brown eyes and all I can do at the moment is cry and pet her little head. I know that it will be better to put her down, but I really do not feel like I have had enough time with her. She is 8, going to be 9 (Feb 13th). My only true complaint with her is all the hair that she would shed, but that is not her fault other than that she has been a wonderful dog!!!
I can still remember the day that G and I went to pick her, he wanted her because she was the big puppy in the corner that no one wanted to play with and that was the same reason that I did not want her. I am really glad that G won that battle, because she is the best pet that I have ever owned. She knew when I was unhappy or when I needed a little nudge. She would come over and put her little head (OK it is huge) on my lap and look at me as if to say that everything is going to be OK.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
11-29-08
OK, so on 11-19-08 I had my surgeries. The procedures started at about 12:30 / 1:00 p.m. and lasted until about 9:00 p.m. The surgeries went really well. I am extremely happy with the work that both doctors completed. In total they took 14.14 pounds of excess skin off. What a difference to have that much skin removed.
The only major complication that I had was that my blood pressure was way to low. Prior to surgery it was 80/53 (yes that is correct). After surgery my blood pressure got even lower do to all the blood that I lost, so I had to have a blood transfer, because each time I tried to get up I would basically pass out. After the blood transfer I was able to get up and move to the restroom. YIPPY!!! I went home Friday night and have been sleeping in the recliner in the guest room. G has been really nice and he has been staying in the guest room with me, even though it is killing his back. Today, was the first day that I was able to lay in the guest bed without being in severe pain. I must say that I have been extremely impressed by how much pain I have not felt. I think that I over psyched myself into believing that this was going to be the worst pain that I have ever felt in my entire life and I really think that the Gastric Bypass pain was worse. It maybe possible that I felt that the pain from the GB was worse, because I was so limited in what I was able to do because of my size. This time I could actually move around and kind of take care of myself.
I still am very limited in what I am able to do, no lifting of anything more that 5 pounds for 3 weeks and no lifting anything more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks. This part is killing me. I feel so helpless. G has to do everything, including the dishes. I did feel pretty good the other day and I actually washed a few (6 to be exact) glasses.
I was cold before these surgeries and now I am even colder. G is really nice and takes my blanket and puts it in the dryer to warm it up and then he covers me. What a guy!!!
I go back to work on Tuesday (12-2-08). I can hardly wait. I miss seeing everyone and being able to interact with humans. I never realized how much my butt could hurt from doing nothing but laying around all day.
OK, now to change the subject. Our dog (NaKya) is very sick. I thought that she has been acting strange for a little while, but G took her to the vet the other day and she has cancer in her bones and in her lungs. The vet figures that she has about 4 - 8 weeks left and this was about 2 weeks ago. She is on some pretty heavy pain medication and she still seems to be uncomfortable. We are going to put her down. This breaks my heart, because she truly is a wonderful part of our family. Many people have suggested that we should think about getting another pet and I really do not think that I am ready for another pet. It is so hard to lose a part of your family and I have had to do this a lot in the past with our pets, so I think that I will take a break.
Well, I have rattled enough for now. I am going to go and watch some more TV (what an exciting life I am leading at the moment - NOT).
The only major complication that I had was that my blood pressure was way to low. Prior to surgery it was 80/53 (yes that is correct). After surgery my blood pressure got even lower do to all the blood that I lost, so I had to have a blood transfer, because each time I tried to get up I would basically pass out. After the blood transfer I was able to get up and move to the restroom. YIPPY!!! I went home Friday night and have been sleeping in the recliner in the guest room. G has been really nice and he has been staying in the guest room with me, even though it is killing his back. Today, was the first day that I was able to lay in the guest bed without being in severe pain. I must say that I have been extremely impressed by how much pain I have not felt. I think that I over psyched myself into believing that this was going to be the worst pain that I have ever felt in my entire life and I really think that the Gastric Bypass pain was worse. It maybe possible that I felt that the pain from the GB was worse, because I was so limited in what I was able to do because of my size. This time I could actually move around and kind of take care of myself.
I still am very limited in what I am able to do, no lifting of anything more that 5 pounds for 3 weeks and no lifting anything more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks. This part is killing me. I feel so helpless. G has to do everything, including the dishes. I did feel pretty good the other day and I actually washed a few (6 to be exact) glasses.
I was cold before these surgeries and now I am even colder. G is really nice and takes my blanket and puts it in the dryer to warm it up and then he covers me. What a guy!!!
I go back to work on Tuesday (12-2-08). I can hardly wait. I miss seeing everyone and being able to interact with humans. I never realized how much my butt could hurt from doing nothing but laying around all day.
OK, now to change the subject. Our dog (NaKya) is very sick. I thought that she has been acting strange for a little while, but G took her to the vet the other day and she has cancer in her bones and in her lungs. The vet figures that she has about 4 - 8 weeks left and this was about 2 weeks ago. She is on some pretty heavy pain medication and she still seems to be uncomfortable. We are going to put her down. This breaks my heart, because she truly is a wonderful part of our family. Many people have suggested that we should think about getting another pet and I really do not think that I am ready for another pet. It is so hard to lose a part of your family and I have had to do this a lot in the past with our pets, so I think that I will take a break.
Well, I have rattled enough for now. I am going to go and watch some more TV (what an exciting life I am leading at the moment - NOT).
Sunday, November 16, 2008
11-16-08
Both procedures have been approved by the insurance company. The date has been moved up 11-19-08 (yes three days from today). I am very nervous, but ready. G is going to take Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off from work to be with me. This is very sweet of him. I wish that my girls were coming, but I will not be much fun for them, so it is OK.
I will see them in April when I go home for the Marathon. Yes, I am still going to try my hardest to do the Marathon. This is the last year that they are going to run this course and I want to be able to say that I was part of it. I have figured it out and if I take six weeks off after my surgery, it will put me at 1-1-09. This would give me 15 fulls weeks before a taper week to get back into shape for a Marathon. OK, some may think that this is very optimistic and I am sure that it is, but I would like to give it a try. It will however truly depend on how quickly I recover and how well I feel by the first of the year. I am in no hurry and i am not going to rush anything with this surgery. I will take all the time that I need to make sure that I am fully healed before trying anything stupid. In fact, I have taken two weeks off from work and for those of you that really know me this is a really long time for me to be at home and guess what I plan to do? Nothing, you read that right. I am going to do nothing. I am going to lounge a round read books, watch TV, be lazy, and do nothing.
I am going to have G take some pictures of me prior to surgery and then I will have him take them after surgery. I will try to update this frequently, but remember I am going to do nothing for two weeks.
I will see them in April when I go home for the Marathon. Yes, I am still going to try my hardest to do the Marathon. This is the last year that they are going to run this course and I want to be able to say that I was part of it. I have figured it out and if I take six weeks off after my surgery, it will put me at 1-1-09. This would give me 15 fulls weeks before a taper week to get back into shape for a Marathon. OK, some may think that this is very optimistic and I am sure that it is, but I would like to give it a try. It will however truly depend on how quickly I recover and how well I feel by the first of the year. I am in no hurry and i am not going to rush anything with this surgery. I will take all the time that I need to make sure that I am fully healed before trying anything stupid. In fact, I have taken two weeks off from work and for those of you that really know me this is a really long time for me to be at home and guess what I plan to do? Nothing, you read that right. I am going to do nothing. I am going to lounge a round read books, watch TV, be lazy, and do nothing.
I am going to have G take some pictures of me prior to surgery and then I will have him take them after surgery. I will try to update this frequently, but remember I am going to do nothing for two weeks.
Friday, November 7, 2008
November 7, 2008
Competition
I forgot to update you on the competition at work. OK, I did not win, but I still ran 109 miles in 61 days. That by itself is an awesome accomplishment for me.
Prior to me starting running in April of 2008, I would say that I did not run 109 miles in my whole life. I am 31 so that would have only required me to run about 3.5 miles a year. I do know that we would have to run a mile in gym class once a year for our assessment tests, but that was the only running that I was doing and that 1 mile per year does not even come close to 109.
The winner of our competition ran almost 160 miles in 61 days. This is so AWESOME!!! The next closest person came in at around 130 miles (AWESOME)!!!
I am so proud of everyone that was in our competition regardless of the number of miles that they did. I am so amazed by the number of miles that we have collectively run, that I want to continue tracking the number of miles that we run until at least the end of the year (maybe longer -I am a numbers junkie).
I forgot to update you on the competition at work. OK, I did not win, but I still ran 109 miles in 61 days. That by itself is an awesome accomplishment for me.
Prior to me starting running in April of 2008, I would say that I did not run 109 miles in my whole life. I am 31 so that would have only required me to run about 3.5 miles a year. I do know that we would have to run a mile in gym class once a year for our assessment tests, but that was the only running that I was doing and that 1 mile per year does not even come close to 109.
The winner of our competition ran almost 160 miles in 61 days. This is so AWESOME!!! The next closest person came in at around 130 miles (AWESOME)!!!
I am so proud of everyone that was in our competition regardless of the number of miles that they did. I am so amazed by the number of miles that we have collectively run, that I want to continue tracking the number of miles that we run until at least the end of the year (maybe longer -I am a numbers junkie).
November 7, 2008
Approved!!!
I have been approved for the Panniculectomy and now I am waiting to see if the insurance company will approve a Breast Reduction. If they approve both, I am planning to have surgery on 11-24-08. I will be out of work for about 2 weeks (returning on 12-8-08). This will be the longest that I have ever taken off from work at a time. I am nervous about taking this much time off from work for many reasons (personal and work related, but I would say more personal). I have compiled a list of concerns that are running through my mind and there are many.
I have been approved for the Panniculectomy and now I am waiting to see if the insurance company will approve a Breast Reduction. If they approve both, I am planning to have surgery on 11-24-08. I will be out of work for about 2 weeks (returning on 12-8-08). This will be the longest that I have ever taken off from work at a time. I am nervous about taking this much time off from work for many reasons (personal and work related, but I would say more personal). I have compiled a list of concerns that are running through my mind and there are many.
- Money - OK this is one of my biggest concerns. I am extremely tight with our budget and if I take longer to recover than I have vacation allowed, I would lose 40% of my pay. This may not seem like a lot to some people, but this is a huge amount to me and I do not want to lose any of my pay.
- I do not want to be considered an unreliable employee that does not return to work as scheduled. I come from a Military background and I have always been taught to suck it up and deal with it.
- This is during the holiday season and I do not want to worry about anyone not being able to spend time with their family if I am unable to return to work as scheduled.
- I will feel like I am letting my team down. I know that they will be fine without me, but I still worry about letting them down and putting extra work on them.
- My mom is not going to be here for this surgery. She came in for the last one and made sure that I was taken care of. I know that G will do a GREAT job at taking care of me, but it is just not the same as having your mom.
- How are my clothes going to fit when this is over?
- How much is it going to cost me to buy new clothes if my old ones do not fit? I live in my own world (everyone that knows me can attest to this) and I think that this skin is just going to come off and I am still going to be the same size and everything is still going to fit, but what if it doesn't?
- When will I be able to run again or exercise at all?
- How long before I can take a real shower and not a sponge bath?
- Will people judge me for doing this? I know I generally don't care what people think of me, but I am worried what people will think that I think of them. For example, what if someone if over weight and they find out that I have had all of this done, will they think that I do not like them, because they are over weight or will they realize that I started this journey to be a healthier person and that I am not one to judge?
- I worry that people will think that I am a different person. Trust me, I am still SAM and that will not change. I may look different and I may have started doing different things in my life (like running), but I am still SAM!!!
Reasons that I am not nervous if something goes wrong:
- I work with a great group of individuals that will be able to handle everything while I am out and I will not have to worry about work piling up while I am gone.
- I have a wonderful support system that I will make sure that I get through anything and that everything is taken care of.
- My family is awesome and will make sure that everything is taken care of, so that I do not have to worry about anything.
Ok, so I have rattled on and on, but I am nervous and scared (very scared). I question whether I am doing the right thing. It feels right, but I still need to question it and make sure that I have taken everything into consideration.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
October 17, 2008
Weigh In
The scale is still moving. I have dropped a few more pounds and am down to 168.5. My goal is to be 166 by Halloween and 153 by Christmas. I am pretty sure that I can meet the Halloween goal, but I am going to have to really work to meet my Christmas goal.
This week on Wednesday (10-15-08) my doctors office sent off the paperwork to the insurance company to see if I will be approved for a Panniculectomy. I have been doing some research on the cost if it is not covered by insurance and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the cost. I thought that it would be about $25,000 and it is less than half that.
Also, on 11-13-08, I meet with a doctor to discuss a Breast Reduction. I know that many people feel that my Breasts are much smaller than they used to be and in some cases they are correct. I have lost about 10 inches around, however the cup size has not gotten any smaller and this is the part that I really want to be much smaller. It is very difficult and very painful for me to run, but I enjoy it so much that I am willing to put up with the pain. I officially have scars now from where the 3 bras (yes you read that correctly - 3 bras) that I wear for running have cut into my skin.
I am not sure if I mentioned it before of not, but I am currently in a competition at work to see who can run the most miles from 9-1-08 to 10-31-08. So far I have run 90.7 miles during this time frame. I am not in the lead, but i am also not in last. I am currently about 21 miles behind the leader. I know this sounds like a lot and it is, but it is not doable.
Well, I have a lot to do today, so I am going to check out for now. I will continue to keep you updated on the results from the insurance company, the progress on my weight loss, and the running competition.
The scale is still moving. I have dropped a few more pounds and am down to 168.5. My goal is to be 166 by Halloween and 153 by Christmas. I am pretty sure that I can meet the Halloween goal, but I am going to have to really work to meet my Christmas goal.
This week on Wednesday (10-15-08) my doctors office sent off the paperwork to the insurance company to see if I will be approved for a Panniculectomy. I have been doing some research on the cost if it is not covered by insurance and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the cost. I thought that it would be about $25,000 and it is less than half that.
Also, on 11-13-08, I meet with a doctor to discuss a Breast Reduction. I know that many people feel that my Breasts are much smaller than they used to be and in some cases they are correct. I have lost about 10 inches around, however the cup size has not gotten any smaller and this is the part that I really want to be much smaller. It is very difficult and very painful for me to run, but I enjoy it so much that I am willing to put up with the pain. I officially have scars now from where the 3 bras (yes you read that correctly - 3 bras) that I wear for running have cut into my skin.
I am not sure if I mentioned it before of not, but I am currently in a competition at work to see who can run the most miles from 9-1-08 to 10-31-08. So far I have run 90.7 miles during this time frame. I am not in the lead, but i am also not in last. I am currently about 21 miles behind the leader. I know this sounds like a lot and it is, but it is not doable.
Well, I have a lot to do today, so I am going to check out for now. I will continue to keep you updated on the results from the insurance company, the progress on my weight loss, and the running competition.
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