12-1-08

NaKya

Today is the last day that I get to spend with my dog. I have cried a lot and I know that it is selfish of me to want to keep her around longer. She is in pain and suffering. She is not eating or going to the bathroom. It is like her whole body has just shut down and all she can do is look at you with those sad brown eyes and all I can do at the moment is cry and pet her little head. I know that it will be better to put her down, but I really do not feel like I have had enough time with her. She is 8, going to be 9 (Feb 13th). My only true complaint with her is all the hair that she would shed, but that is not her fault other than that she has been a wonderful dog!!!

I can still remember the day that G and I went to pick her, he wanted her because she was the big puppy in the corner that no one wanted to play with and that was the same reason that I did not want her. I am really glad that G won that battle, because she is the best pet that I have ever owned. She knew when I was unhappy or when I needed a little nudge. She would come over and put her little head (OK it is huge) on my lap and look at me as if to say that everything is going to be OK.

11-29-08

OK, so on 11-19-08 I had my surgeries. The procedures started at about 12:30 / 1:00 p.m. and lasted until about 9:00 p.m. The surgeries went really well. I am extremely happy with the work that both doctors completed. In total they took 14.14 pounds of excess skin off. What a difference to have that much skin removed.

The only major complication that I had was that my blood pressure was way to low. Prior to surgery it was 80/53 (yes that is correct). After surgery my blood pressure got even lower do to all the blood that I lost, so I had to have a blood transfer, because each time I tried to get up I would basically pass out. After the blood transfer I was able to get up and move to the restroom. YIPPY!!! I went home Friday night and have been sleeping in the recliner in the guest room. G has been really nice and he has been staying in the guest room with me, even though it is killing his back. Today, was the first day that I was able to lay in the guest bed without being in severe pain. I must say that I have been extremely impressed by how much pain I have not felt. I think that I over psyched myself into believing that this was going to be the worst pain that I have ever felt in my entire life and I really think that the Gastric Bypass pain was worse. It maybe possible that I felt that the pain from the GB was worse, because I was so limited in what I was able to do because of my size. This time I could actually move around and kind of take care of myself.

I still am very limited in what I am able to do, no lifting of anything more that 5 pounds for 3 weeks and no lifting anything more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks. This part is killing me. I feel so helpless. G has to do everything, including the dishes. I did feel pretty good the other day and I actually washed a few (6 to be exact) glasses.

I was cold before these surgeries and now I am even colder. G is really nice and takes my blanket and puts it in the dryer to warm it up and then he covers me. What a guy!!!

I go back to work on Tuesday (12-2-08). I can hardly wait. I miss seeing everyone and being able to interact with humans. I never realized how much my butt could hurt from doing nothing but laying around all day.

OK, now to change the subject. Our dog (NaKya) is very sick. I thought that she has been acting strange for a little while, but G took her to the vet the other day and she has cancer in her bones and in her lungs. The vet figures that she has about 4 - 8 weeks left and this was about 2 weeks ago. She is on some pretty heavy pain medication and she still seems to be uncomfortable. We are going to put her down. This breaks my heart, because she truly is a wonderful part of our family. Many people have suggested that we should think about getting another pet and I really do not think that I am ready for another pet. It is so hard to lose a part of your family and I have had to do this a lot in the past with our pets, so I think that I will take a break.

Well, I have rattled enough for now. I am going to go and watch some more TV (what an exciting life I am leading at the moment - NOT).

11-16-08

Both procedures have been approved by the insurance company. The date has been moved up 11-19-08 (yes three days from today). I am very nervous, but ready. G is going to take Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off from work to be with me. This is very sweet of him. I wish that my girls were coming, but I will not be much fun for them, so it is OK.

I will see them in April when I go home for the Marathon. Yes, I am still going to try my hardest to do the Marathon. This is the last year that they are going to run this course and I want to be able to say that I was part of it. I have figured it out and if I take six weeks off after my surgery, it will put me at 1-1-09. This would give me 15 fulls weeks before a taper week to get back into shape for a Marathon. OK, some may think that this is very optimistic and I am sure that it is, but I would like to give it a try. It will however truly depend on how quickly I recover and how well I feel by the first of the year. I am in no hurry and i am not going to rush anything with this surgery. I will take all the time that I need to make sure that I am fully healed before trying anything stupid. In fact, I have taken two weeks off from work and for those of you that really know me this is a really long time for me to be at home and guess what I plan to do? Nothing, you read that right. I am going to do nothing. I am going to lounge a round read books, watch TV, be lazy, and do nothing.

I am going to have G take some pictures of me prior to surgery and then I will have him take them after surgery. I will try to update this frequently, but remember I am going to do nothing for two weeks.

November 7, 2008

Competition

I forgot to update you on the competition at work. OK, I did not win, but I still ran 109 miles in 61 days. That by itself is an awesome accomplishment for me.

Prior to me starting running in April of 2008, I would say that I did not run 109 miles in my whole life. I am 31 so that would have only required me to run about 3.5 miles a year. I do know that we would have to run a mile in gym class once a year for our assessment tests, but that was the only running that I was doing and that 1 mile per year does not even come close to 109.

The winner of our competition ran almost 160 miles in 61 days. This is so AWESOME!!! The next closest person came in at around 130 miles (AWESOME)!!!

I am so proud of everyone that was in our competition regardless of the number of miles that they did. I am so amazed by the number of miles that we have collectively run, that I want to continue tracking the number of miles that we run until at least the end of the year (maybe longer -I am a numbers junkie).

November 7, 2008

Approved!!!

I have been approved for the Panniculectomy and now I am waiting to see if the insurance company will approve a Breast Reduction. If they approve both, I am planning to have surgery on 11-24-08. I will be out of work for about 2 weeks (returning on 12-8-08). This will be the longest that I have ever taken off from work at a time. I am nervous about taking this much time off from work for many reasons (personal and work related, but I would say more personal). I have compiled a list of concerns that are running through my mind and there are many.

• Money - OK this is one of my biggest concerns. I am extremely tight with our budget and if I take longer to recover than I have vacation allowed, I would lose 40% of my pay. This may not seem like a lot to some people, but this is a huge amount to me and I do not want to lose any of my pay.
• I do not want to be considered an unreliable employee that does not return to work as scheduled. I come from a Military background and I have always been taught to suck it up and deal with it.
• This is during the holiday season and I do not want to worry about anyone not being able to spend time with their family if I am unable to return to work as scheduled.
• I will feel like I am letting my team down. I know that they will be fine without me, but I still worry about letting them down and putting extra work on them.
• My mom is not going to be here for this surgery. She came in for the last one and made sure that I was taken care of. I know that G will do a GREAT job at taking care of me, but it is just not the same as having your mom.
• How are my clothes going to fit when this is over?
• How much is it going to cost me to buy new clothes if my old ones do not fit? I live in my own world (everyone that knows me can attest to this) and I think that this skin is just going to come off and I am still going to be the same size and everything is still going to fit, but what if it doesn't?
• When will I be able to run again or exercise at all?
• How long before I can take a real shower and not a sponge bath?
• Will people judge me for doing this? I know I generally don't care what people think of me, but I am worried what people will think that I think of them. For example, what if someone if over weight and they find out that I have had all of this done, will they think that I do not like them, because they are over weight or will they realize that I started this journey to be a healthier person and that I am not one to judge?
• I worry that people will think that I am a different person. Trust me, I am still SAM and that will not change. I may look different and I may have started doing different things in my life (like running), but I am still SAM!!!

Reasons that I am not nervous if something goes wrong:

• I work with a great group of individuals that will be able to handle everything while I am out and I will not have to worry about work piling up while I am gone.
• I have a wonderful support system that I will make sure that I get through anything and that everything is taken care of.
• My family is awesome and will make sure that everything is taken care of, so that I do not have to worry about anything.

Ok, so I have rattled on and on, but I am nervous and scared (very scared). I question whether I am doing the right thing. It feels right, but I still need to question it and make sure that I have taken everything into consideration.

October 17, 2008

Weigh In

The scale is still moving. I have dropped a few more pounds and am down to 168.5. My goal is to be 166 by Halloween and 153 by Christmas. I am pretty sure that I can meet the Halloween goal, but I am going to have to really work to meet my Christmas goal.

This week on Wednesday (10-15-08) my doctors office sent off the paperwork to the insurance company to see if I will be approved for a Panniculectomy. I have been doing some research on the cost if it is not covered by insurance and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the cost. I thought that it would be about $25,000 and it is less than half that.

Also, on 11-13-08, I meet with a doctor to discuss a Breast Reduction. I know that many people feel that my Breasts are much smaller than they used to be and in some cases they are correct. I have lost about 10 inches around, however the cup size has not gotten any smaller and this is the part that I really want to be much smaller. It is very difficult and very painful for me to run, but I enjoy it so much that I am willing to put up with the pain. I officially have scars now from where the 3 bras (yes you read that correctly - 3 bras) that I wear for running have cut into my skin.

I am not sure if I mentioned it before of not, but I am currently in a competition at work to see who can run the most miles from 9-1-08 to 10-31-08. So far I have run 90.7 miles during this time frame. I am not in the lead, but i am also not in last. I am currently about 21 miles behind the leader. I know this sounds like a lot and it is, but it is not doable.

Well, I have a lot to do today, so I am going to check out for now. I will continue to keep you updated on the results from the insurance company, the progress on my weight loss, and the running competition.

September 26, 2008

Weigh In

It appears that the scale is back on the move!!! I am so excited. I have lost another 2 pounds this week and I am now at 171.5. I would like to be 166 by Halloween, so that means that I would need to lose another 5.5 pounds in just over a month (about 1 pound a week). I hope that I do not hit another plateau, but if I do that is OK. I have come such a long way and I am extremely happy with where I am. I have lost a total of 155 pounds. That is soooo amazing to me.

September 22, 2008

Wow, it has been a really long time since I posted anything new. Sorry, I have several websites that I am in the process of maintaining and my favorite one is www.sparkpeople.com I have lost a little more weight since my last entry and I am now down to 173.5.

I went to the doctor that did my Gastric Bypass Surgery on 9-12-08 to see about having the excess skin removed. First I wanted to see if it was really excess skin or if I just have more weight to lose. He informed me that it is excess skin and he thinks that there is at least 12 pounds of excess skin (just in the stomach area). I also inquired about a Breast Reduction and both can be down at the same time. This was good news for me, because I am not sure that I could go through all the pain twice and if I had to pick between one or the other, I would have picked the Breast Reduction.

I am still running and each day I am in pain. It is my upper back and lower back that are in pain. The rest of my body seems to be adapting well to this running thing. I am still planning to run a Marathon in April of 2009, however my only fear is that by doing the above surgeries my progress will be set back and it will be like I am starting over. I hope that if the surgeries are approved by my insurance that the recovery is extremely quick and that I can get back to my training ASAP.

August 17 - August 23, 2008 Minutes of Exercise

My goal for the week was 300 minutes of Exercise and I did not come close, but I was much better than the week prior. The week prior I had 68 minutes of exercise and this week I had 203 minutes of exercise. I am going to try my hardest the week of 8-24-08 to 8-30-08 to hit 300 minutes. This may be extremely difficult for me to accomplish, because I am leaving to go on vacation Thursday morning and I will not return until Tuesday the next week.

Sun 8/17: 38 min
Mon 8/18: 0 min
Tues 8/19: 45min
Wed 8/20: 60 min
Thurs 8/21: 60 min
Fri 8/22: 0 min
Sat 8/23: 0 min
Weekly total: 203 min

August 15, 2008

Another 5K

I ran another 5K. This one was called Valley 5000 and it is based in Loveland CO. This was a very interesting race for me, because it rained the whole time. In fact by the time I got home I weighed an additional 6 pounds from all the water that my clothes has soaked up.

I was very proud of myself, because even though it rained and I was cold I beat my time by almost 2 minutes. My first race was officially 40 minutes and 21 seconds. This race was officially 38 minutes and 33 seconds and that was even after I had to stop and wait for the fire truck to move.

The next 5K that I am going to run is on 9-21-08 and it is located in Fort Collins. I am hoping to complete this run in 35 minutes or less. I have been trying to work out each day on my treadmill for an hour. During this hour I am doing a combination of running and walking, but I am trying to build up my bodies endurance and make it work harder and longer. I am hoping that this will help me finish my 5K in 35 minutes of less. I have about 3 weeks to keep up this routine before the 5K and I am also hoping to lose 5 pounds prior to the run.

8-9-08 - Rat Race

I just ran my first ever race. It was called the Rat Race. It was a 5K and I completed this in 40 minutes and 18 seconds. My goal was to finish in under 45 minutes and I accomplished that goal. The hardest thing for me was to figure out how to drink and run at the same time. This I was not able to figure out, so each time I needed a drink from the nice people that passed out water, I ended up walking. I walked a total of 4 times.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Today I was able to run for 22 minutes straight and then I cooled down with an 8 minute walk.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

OK, I got up again today and decided to do my treadmill right away (no breakfast or anything). I decided to just walk today, because my thighs are burning from yesterdays workout and I thought that if I walked it would loosen them up a bit. At the moment they feel OK, they are still sore but not as bad as when I started. I guess I will just have to wait and see what they will be like later today or tomorrow.

I walked for 35 minutes today and I was able to accomplish 2.07 miles. I kept my pace between 3.5 - 3.7 the whole time. I also decided to just walk one minute and then the next minute I did some form of arm toning while walking. This helped to pass the time, but my arms are feeling it.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Today I got up and decided to hop on my treadmill right away. This way I would not have any excuses, such as: we will be leaving the house soon, it's to late in the day, I'll just use today as my day off.

I am extremely happy that I decided to get up and get on the treadmill, because today I was able to run for 20 minutes straight. Again, I know some of you are thinking, wow 20 minutes, is she kidding??? This is a really long time for me considering that back in April (end of April) I could not even run for one minute without wanting to quit, because it felt as though someone was standing on my lungs. Now even after 20 minutes I do not have that feeling, but I sure do get tired quickly.

Workout for today: 45 Minutes Total

Minutes Item and Distance
1-20 Run for 1.52 minutes (I finished 1 mile in 13.18 minutes)
20-30 Walk - distanced equaled 2 miles at this point
30-36.5 Run for another half mile - distance equals 2.5 miles at this point
36.5-45 Walk for another half mile (as cool down) - distance equals 3 miles at this point

At this rate I am not sure how I am going to build up enough strength and endurance to run a complete Marathon. I must have been crazy the day that I agreed to this, but I am not giving up. I am going to keep on working out and building up the length of time and distance that I am able to run.

Thursday 7-10-08

I was not able to run last night. My feet were swollen. I have been in the process of seeing a doctor to figure out why I am getting light headed, dizzy, and then my hands and feet swell. I am hoping to be able to run tonight, but I will keep you updated.

Wednesday 7-9-08

Last night I started running again. I have not been able to run for about a month, due to other activities that I had going on in the evenings. I thought that it would be hard to get back into it, but it was not that bad. I was able to run for 6 minutes straight. I realize that this does not sound like a great amount of time, but for me I think that it is fantastic. I am going to try for at least 7 minutes tonight. The biggest issue that I find that is making it hard for me to go longer periods is my lungs. I feel like they are being crushed. I think that it may be lack of water and also the fact that I have not fully taught myself to breath properly when running. I know you are probably thinking, what taught yourself to breath while running, this should be natural and the body should do it on its own, but trust me it does not. I am going to start out tonight with my camel pack to see if that helps with the lack of water. I am only able to drink little sips at a time, so I am hoping that this will help. I will check back in tomorrow and let you know how this works.

May 17, 2008

Again no running today, but I had plans to help a friend move. I did however, get up and workout on my treadmill for 35 minutes. When I first started walking on the treadmill I walked at a pace of 2.5 mph, now I walk at a pace of 3.5 mph. I have improved my starting pace by 1 mph in just a few weeks.

I also have kicked my running speed up to 5 mph. Currently, I can maintain this pace for 3 minutes at a time. I am going to try to shoot for 4 minutes at a time. I will let you know how this goes on Sunday.

May 16,2008

No running today, I just did a little walking. More to stretch the muscles and keep them loose.

May 15, 2008

Today I was able to do 2.06 miles in 30 minutes. I am slowly, but surely getting better each time. I can't wait until I get to 2.5 miles in 30 minutes. I am loving my new shoes. I am really getting into this running thing. I even went out and bought myself a pair of running shorts and I new tank top. I must say I almost look like a runner, hopefully some day i will be able to consider myself a runner.

May 14, 2008

Well, I was so tired and exhausted from the run/walking that I have been doing this week that I literally passed out while speaking with my family. We were on a conference call and one moment I was talking with them and and the next moment it was morning. I guess my body needed a break.

May 13, 2008

Well, the running thing has been quite interesting. Yesterday (5-12-08) I was able to complete 2.03 miles in 30 minutes and today (5-13-08) I was able to complete 2.05 miles in the 30 minutes.

No matter how bad I want to quit, I keep on going. I keep hearing Jillian (from Biggest Loser) saying, keep going, take your hands off the bars on the treadmill, you can do it, and so on.

I am so driven to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do this. Wish me luck!!!

May 3, 2008

Well, I decided if I am really going to get serious that I needed to buy a pair of running shoes that were comfortable and fit me well. I went to a company called Runner's Roost and they actually watch how you walk and determine which shoe would be the best fit. They also let you test drive the shoes. I got to take them outside and actually run or walk in them to decide if I liked how they felt. I found a pair of shoes that I really liked and are very comfortable. The gentlemen informed me to take them home and if for any reason in the next couple of days I decide that I do not like them I can bring them back. I can even wear them outside and I can still bring them back if I do not like them. To check out my new shoes go tot he following link: http://www.asicsamerica.com/products/product.aspx?PRODUCT_ID=240008513&TITLE_CATEGORY_ID=250001549

You may have to copy paste the link or you can go to www.asics.com and the model number is GT-2130 I got the White/Midnight/Turquoise ones. I can't wait to go for my first run in them.

May 3, 2008

Well, I stated in my previous post that I was going to update today with my run from Friday, but unfortunately I was unable to run because my doctor's appointment went longer than expected and I did not have time prior to the wedding.

April 30, 2008

OK I had to do the run / walk combo again for 30 minutes and this time I made 5 full complete laps around this area that I am working it. It takes a little bit to get there, but we rode our bikes this time to get tot he area that I do my run / walk combo instead of walking there. It was so windy and hard to run into the wind. I wanted to give up, but my boyfriend would not let me. Thank God for him, he his my motivator. He will not let me quit even when I want to.

We have a bet going and it is in his favor, so it really surprises me that he is willing to push so hard, instead of being like you want to quit, sure quit...

I am excited for Friday to see if I can beat my 5 laps in the 30 minute run / walk combo. I will update you on Friday evening (maybe Saturday - We have a wedding that we are going to and I will need to get my run / walk combo in prior to that, but I am not sure if I will have time to post).

April 29, 2008

Today I was a little sore, but not as bad as I thought that I would be. Tonight I have to walk for 30 minutes.

April 28, 2008

This was the first day that I started training for the Marathon. It was an extremely hard first day, but I was impressed that I finished it. I made 4 1/4 laps in 30 minutes. I have to run one minute and then walk for two and I continue this pattern until I have completed 30 minutes.

April 27, 2008

I have lost two more pounds, so I am down to 182. I would like to lose 7 more pounds before I go home at the end of May. I am going to start training tomorrow for a Marathon that is exactly one year away. Many people believe that I will not be able to accomplish this task, but this is something that I WANT to do and now I have even more drive to prove them wrong. I realize that my motivation can not be the fact that people feel I can not do this. My motivation needs to come internally from me.

I am ready to face this challenge and I will not be alone. I am going to be doing this with my best friends. I did ask myself today, what if they do not have the same desire or want as I do. I know that we decided to take on this challenge together, but what if one of us becomes weak and wants to drop out, will the other continue??? I am not sure.

I do know that this is something that I have thought about doing for a while, however thought that it was impossible do to my size, but I am realizing that size does not matter. What matters, is how bad do you want something and I want this pretty bad.

March 23, 2008

Happy Easter!!!

I found a wonderful new site today, OK it is not new, but it is new to me. The website is: http://www.prevention.com/cda/homepage.do You can join their online forum for free and it allows you to track your calories, exercises, and much much more. It even allows you to set a weight loss goal and enter the time frame that you want to reach it in and the system will calculate how many calories you need to cut daily in order to reach your goal. There are charts and graphs. I really can't say enough about their forum. I would recommend that everyone check it out and give it a try.

March 17, 2008

Happy St. Patricks Day!!!

It has been a long time since I posted a message on this board. I have no excuses for not posting. I just have not had anything to really to add.

George and I have been going bike riding. It is quite fun to get outdoors and start experiencing all the fun things that we have not done together and also to start doing some of the things that we used to do.

One thing that I am really looking forward to is camping. We are going to try the camping thing again. (YES, you read that correctly we are going to try it again). George and I have gone camping once together (actually this was my first time camping) and it was not the most exciting thing that we have ever done together, however I do have some fond memories of that event.

February 14, 2008

Wow, it has been a long time since I posted a comment. I have had a lot of things going on and no time. I know that is a horrible excuse and I need to take time for myself to update this more frequently.

I went back to my Step Aerobics and Toning classes on Tuesday and I am still feeling them. They say no pain no gain. I am not really all about the pain, but I do like the benfits.

I definately need to be more consistent with my workouts if I plan to reach my goal. I have started to create smaller goals rather than looking just at the end result. The next goal that I am currently striving for is 160 by the end of May. This means that I need to lose 25.5 pounds and that I have about 3 1/2 months to accomplish this. This also means that I need to average 8.5 pounds per month (easier said that done).

There are several people in my life that are working towards a healthier them and I want them to know that I am so proud of them. They are beutiful people (no matter what they think) and I love them just the way they are.

January 14, 2008

OK, I am in a bit of pain tonight. I went to my first ever spinning class and let me tell you, it was tough. The class is an hour long and I stopped after 35 minutes, because I forgot my purse at work and had to go back and get it before it got to late. Trust me, when I say that I am sooo happy that I forgot my purse at work and had to leave class early. It was a blessing in disguise.

I also went out and bought myself a step aerobics board today and it came with 3 DVD's. I can't wait to try them. Step Aerobics is one of my favorite classes, however it is $4.50 per class and George either has to come back and pick me up or we have to drive seperate cars.

January 12, 2008

Ok, I have been very bad at posting new updates and staying on top of this, however I have been out of town on a business trip. I know that is not a very good excuse, but it is true. I weighed in this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see that I actually lost weight, which was surprising since I ate out for every meal while traveling. This morning my current weight is 189. I have lost 4.5 pounds since last week. Please keep in mind that I had Gastic Bypass Surgery so the amount of weight that I lose in a week will be much greater than that of others and also with less effort. I am 54 pounds away from the target weight that my doctors would like me at, however I am 10 pounds lighter than the target weight that I set for myself.

January 3, 2008

Today, I will continue on my journey to a healthier life style. I had Gastric Bypass July 13, 2006 and to date I have lost 133 pounds. I have 58.5 more pounds to lose. My current weight is 193.5 and my goal weight is 135. I hope to accomplish this my July 2008.